 S.M. King reports from Massachusetts on New England’s lesbian mecca.Lesbians. Say what you will about ’em, but they do have a knack for destroying perfectly fine customs. The pillars of folk music and poetry, by way of example, have been compromised by Lez interference. And here in Massachusetts, they're doing their level best to unmake the great tradition of New England cuisine. If you refuse to believe that American cooking can be good, a trip to Kennedy country is in order: long-established fishing and dairy industries fill the larders of the region, but local vagitarians have replaced time-honoured goods and recipes with enough tofu to build a life-size replica of Melissa Etheridge. The epicentre of New England Vagitarianism is Northampton, MA. Here, you won't be able to park without colliding with at least a dozen Subarus, each featuring a ‘Magic Happens’ or ‘Om’ bumper sticker. National trash publication the National Enquirer called Northampton “Lesbianville, USA”. And so it is. The cuisine is as rusticated and womyn-ositive as the hateful world music dribbling out of every Tempeh-caff. This bad womyn’s food extends throughout the region. A few hours north-west of Northampton you’ll find the sleepy burg of North Adams. The sole reason to visit this town is the Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art. Housed in an artfully refurbished show factory, MASS MoCA makes the hairpin turns along a mountainous highway worthwhile. Then the food makes you rethink the entire journey. Unless the idea of ordering lentil stew from a “Womenu” excites you, don’t even think about going to the Brouhaha Café. Honestly, I'm not making this up. Look past the mouldering yoghurt, however, and make it your business to discover New England cuisine. And, if you've not got the airfare at present, replicate this cuisine at home The highest, or, at the very least, the most notable expression of New England cooking, is clam chowder. My own recipe for clam chowder is largely based on the version in Irma Rombauer's Joy of Cooking, modified to accommodate ingredients readily available in Australia. Here, we would substitute pipis for clams. Pipis can occasionally be found out of season at a good fishmonger or Asian market. Buy a couple of kilos, fresh and alive. The little cockles should be tightly closed upon purchase. Keep them in fresh water with a dash of salt in the sink until ready to cook. Those that don't open up with a gentle steaming should be discarded. (Of course, you could always cheat nature and buy a can of all American clams.) Try to source thick-cut bacon that can be cubed into 2cm pieces. Find a delicatessen that can slice it to your requirements and bring home about 300gms. You'll also need cream, potatoes and a dry white wine such as a Sauvignon Blanc. Pipis and clams have a tendency to be sandy and gritty, and will require several rinses. Don't steam or poach them for too long, a few minutes will do. Fry the cubed bacon in the bottom of a heavy saucepan and don't drain away the fat. To this add a generous splash of wine, cubed cooked potatoes and freshly ground black pepper. Add some diluted chicken stock and cream. Remove from the heat before adding in the clams, which should be gently scraped away from their shells. This is a dish that is better made a day ahead, and left to “cook” in the fridge overnight to allow the flavours to develop. This way, the barely cooked clams will impart their flavour throughout the dish. It'll just need a very gentle reheat before serving. The chowder basics, however, are a platform for a great variety of creamy soups. Fresh corn chowder with bacon, chicken with capsicum and chili, and lightly smoked cod all lend themselves well to the creamy quotient. Potatoes must make their way into all of these. And forget about the carbs: without potatoes, chowder’s like a Northampton lesbian without an acoustic guitar.
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