In an uncertain market consumed with fear about the future and remorse about the past, new products struggle for attention. With the consumer’s mind on declining income and escalating food costs, it’s risky to initiate trade. Nonetheless, new culinary products surface each week. They jostle for our dollar with all the passionate force of an old queen who smells freshly-minted twink.

And who can blame them? It’s hard for a simple, old condiment to get noticed in a difficult market. So you have to forgive the desperate promotional quirk.

But I have to draw the line at the efforts of Mudgeeraba Spices and Curry Blends. Their peculiar marketing tactics made it to the pages of the queer press last week.

As the keen student of bigotry will have already learned, it is alleged that the curry company refused to please the palate of a same-sex couple.

On April 12, two Sydney gents decided to sample the fare at a Royal Easter Show food pavilion. Shunning Dagwood Dogs, Fairy Floss and the other camp produce available to revellers, the couple joined the public taste test at the curry stand. It is alleged that they were refused a spicy morsel.

According to a man who chose to be identified only as Richard, a female curry ambassador answered them, “No, it’s only for mums and dads. It’s only for people who have families.”

When Richard and his unnamed sire probed further, the diplomat allegedly replied, “I can discriminate against who I want – it’s my product. Now get lost.”

Clearly, these blokes were keen to take a stand against prejudice. Either that or they were potty for sub-continental spice. They waited in line until another attendant offered them a taste. Whereupon, it is reported, the curry envoy threw some of the product at the lads.

Whether Richard and his hubby have since managed to remove those stubborn turmeric stains was not reported. I do hope, however, that they’ve cleansed themselves of the ignominy.

I am profoundly distressed by this story on at least two counts. First, it appears that Sarah Palin is now in the curry business. Second: who are these people to give spicy food a bad name?

I have not, it must be said, ever sampled the wares vended by Mudgeeraba. They may be very good. I don’t know and I never shall, as I tend to prefer making my own curry blend.

Not only is it generally cheaper to make one’s own Indian spice, it can prove infinitely tastier.

Many cooks are sheepish when it comes to combining spices in Indian cuisine. The prevalent idea is that curries are infinitely complex and time-consuming. This does not have to be the case.

One of my never-fail favourites is chana masala. This simple chickpea curry requires soaked and boiled chickpeas, tomatoes, garlic, green chilli, a dash of cumin and a healthy thwack of garam masala. It’s almost too easy.

Of course, Indian cooking is one of the world’s best and, oftentimes, most intricate endeavours. One does not attempt South Indian stringhoppers any more than one would attempt duck confit. The everyday dishes of India, however, so often sold to us in horrid little jars, can be made, and made tastier, in a trice.

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